Are YOU ready for change? A quiz for you!

So, as you may or may not, I am running a group beginning next week.  It's called

The Total Body Transformation Program

This is an 8-week program (the ads that said 12-week were incorrect, sorry!)  consisting of weekly meetings that will enable those who join to finally lose the weight they are so tired of carrying and change their habits so that weight never, ever finds them again!


8 Monday mornings in Kfar Saba
1200nis (HALF the cost of working the same number of hours with me privately!)
Program starts Monday October 25th
Applications due by Thursday Oct 21st
Emily@TriumphWellness.com for application or more information


This program is only open to those who have completed an application.  The reason for that is because I know from experience that one person still stuck in "I can't" and still spouting excuses for WHY they can't, sucks the energy right out of an entire group of motivated, hard-working  people.  I have seen this with my own eyes, and believe you-me, it 'aint pretty.


Today, I want to show you some of the questions that are on the application so you can see for yourself if the group is right for you.  And more important than that really, is to help you understand what may be holding you back where your health and weight is concerned:


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One of the most important things you can do to change your lifestyle for the better is understand your readiness for change. In other words, although you might want to lose weight and get healthier, there’s a difference between wanting it and being ready to do the work necessary to accomplish it.

In this questionnaire we’ll find out if you’re really ready to make the changes necessary to improve your body composition, health, and physical performance. Simply answer the questions below by selecting the response most appropriate to your situation. Once you’ve completed all the questions, your score will be calculated.

1. Do you look in the mirror and feel frustrated, upset, or humiliated because of how your body looks?

a) Yes (+3)

b) I’m not sure (0)
c.)  No (–3)



2. When you feel run down and tired, what do you think is the source of these feelings?

a) Getting older (–1)

b) My lifestyle choices (+3)

c) Something else altogether (–3)


3.  Are you taking any medications for heart disease, high blood pressure, or type II diabetes that you didn’t have to take when you were younger?  Or do you have aches and pains or weight gain that you didn't have when you were younger?
a.)  yes, two or more of those things (+3)
b.)  yes, one or more of those things (+1)
c.)  no, I'm as healthy as I was when I was younger, nothing has changed (-3)


4.  How do you explain the fact that you’re in worse shape than when you were younger but haven’t changed your habits at all?
a.)  It's my family history (-1)
b.)  It's because I'm less active (+3)
c.)  It's a natural consequence of aging (-1)
d.)  I don't know (0)


5.  If you don’t have anyone to exercise with regularly, are you willing to look for a physical activity partner?
a.)  yes (+5)
b).  no (-5)


6.  Are you willing to join a gym today?
a.)  yes (+3)
b.)  no (-3)


7.  If I told you that you’d need to throw away all the foods in your cupboards today and go shopping for different foods that are more appropriate to your goal, would you do it?
a.)  yes (+5)
b.)  no (-5)


8.  If an expert presents some information on diet and exercise that contradicts what you currently believe, what approach will you take?
a.)  keep an open mind and give it a try (+3)
b.)  ask a friend (0)
c.)  ignore the advice (-3)


9.  Are you willing to have a meeting with your friends and loved ones to share your behavior goals and desired outcomes with them?
a.)  yes, right away (+5)
b.)  yes, but not quite yet (-3)
c.)  no (-5)


10.  If your work environment or hours present significant barriers to your exercising and eating well, would you consider speaking to your employer and/or co-workers about changing some of those conditions, or would you even be willing to find new employment?
a.)  yes (+5)
b.)  no (-5)


11.  Are you ready to spend less time with people who offer little or no social support for your goals and seek out those who do?
a.)  yes (+5)
b.)  no (-5)


12.  Can you accept responsibility for the way your body is today and understand that, while old habits don't make you a bad person, they still need to be changed?
a.)  yes (+5)
b.)  no (-5)


13.  If a friend or loved one suggests that you don't have what it takes to get into great shape because you have failed before or for some other reason, what would be your response?
a.)  I can do it (+2)
b.)  I know I need to make some changes but I'll take it one day at a time (+5)
c.)  Maybe I can't do it (-5)


14.  Are you willing to wake up in the morning a bit earlier, stay up a bit later at night, or otherwise re-arrange your schedule to accomplish your goals?
a.)  yes (+5)
b.)  no (-5)


15.  Are you willing to do at least 5 hours of physical activity a week?
a.)  yes (+5)
b.)  no (-5)


16.  Are you willing to record your food intake every single day?
a.)  yes (+5)
b.)  no (-5)

YOUR SCORE AND WHAT IT MEANS
21 to 68:
It’s clear that changing the way you look, feel, and perform have become very important to you and you realize that the way you’re doing things right now simply isn’t cutting it. You’re tired of not getting results, and you’re tired of your growing waistline, your sluggish metabolism, and your lack of energy. And not only are you tired of it, you’re committed to doing something about it – today.  Congratulations! Getting to this point takes a lot of work. Now, let’s do something about it.

–20 to +20:
If you scored in this range, it’s important for you to stop thinking and start doing. You’re probably frustrated with the way things are, but you’re afraid that changing the way you do things will cause you more hassle and difficulty than just sitting back, doing nothing, and continuing to look and feel the way you do today. In fact, you’re not alone. This is most people’s greatest fear: that a new exercise and nutrition program will cause more pain than the pain they feel right now.  If this is you, step outside of your shell and seek out some people who are exercising, eating well, getting results, and having fun doing it. Clearly, millions of people out there are following a healthy lifestyle and loving every minute of it. But thinking that they never had difficulties to overcome like you do is a mistake. At some point in time each and every one of them had some old set of unproductive habits to discard. Once this was accomplished, they could easily get into the zone. And you can, too. What are you waiting for?

–61 to –21:
From the results of your questionnaire, it doesn’t look like you really want to change. Is this true? Are you simply toying with the idea of improving your physical activity habits and eating habits? If so, you’re not really ready to make a change. With each passing year that you avoid good activity and nutrition habits your risk for disease increases. Not only that, you’ll progressively gain fat, lose muscle, and look much older than your actual age. These are the consequences of remaining indifferent to the medications you’re on, the weight
you’ve gained, and the environment with which you’ve surrounded yourself. Are you ready to deal with these things? Don’t stay indifferent any longer. Take an honest look at how you’ve changed (on the inside and
out) and admit that you could use a tune-up.


WHAT TO DO NEXT:
Top scorers:  If you want some professional and group support to finally reach your goals, email me at Emily@TriumphWellness.com and let's get it started in here!

Middle scorers:  While I will not take you into the Total Body Transformation Group, I would LOVE to work with you one-on-one to remove the obstacles that are keeping you from moving forward.  Email me!

Bottom scorers:  Maybe a session or two with me will help you find your motivation to turn things around before it's too late.  Email Emily@TriumphWellness.com and we can see what we can do.

Turn up the speeeaaakkkerss!!!

The Wall

I want to start today's post with a clip from one of my all-time favorite movies, Run Fat Boy Run.


In the clip, you see our hero Dennis trying to finish a marathon, injured, dejected, out of shape and pretty hopeless.  He's been running away from responsibility all his life - taking the easy way out - and this race represents his attempt to take a new direction.  With 9 miles left, he "hits the wall", that famous brick obstacle we hear about in connection with endurance events.  As Dennis stares up at this seemingly unsurmountable obstacle in his path, he is overwhelmed by hopelessness and besieged by all the voices, real and imagined, telling him that he has always been and will always be, a loser.

There are 2 things I really love about this clip:
1.  Only Dennis can see the wall.  Everyone else sees a free and clear roadway ahead of him.
2.  A brick falls out of the wall and Dennis sees himself on the other side waving and encouraging him forward.

When I was in nutrition school we were told "Clients come to you because they are trapped in their story.  You, as the counselor, need to find a way to help them see that it's just a story and that they can re-write it any way they choose".  We all have our stories - the ones we tell ourselves and the ones others have told about us, telling us who we are.  The problem is that we don't see that they are just stories.  We think they are real and permanent.  We often mistake a Story for a Wall.

Yet, when I sit there listening to the client tell her story, I see a free and clear roadway in the place where my client sees a wall.  I then offer the client my perspective.  I tell her that the wall in front of her is made of paper, not bricks and all she has to do is blow it over gently and walk right on through.

Some people see it right away.  They are able to see that it was just a fiction they were stuck on, or just a habit that they mistook for a truth.  They say "Oh!  Why was I making such a big deal about that?  Thanks!"  I do a victory dance and feel like the best coach in the world.

But other people don't see it or don't believe, or don't WANT to, I'm never sure.  Some folks really like their story and they have become so comfortable with their wall that they know every brick and every crack in the mortar.  There is no way in heck they are moving through it.  It seems crazy that someone would hire me because they want to make changes in their life but then be unwilling to actually make any changes in their life - but truly it happens!

In total honesty, I did it myself a bunch of times before I was ready to knock my own walls down.  For one, I had totally bought the story that yo-yo dieting had wrecked my metabolism.  That was my Wall and my reason why I could not lose weight permanently.  Then my coach said to me "Do you KNOW this for a fact?  Have you ever had your metabolism checked?  Because the fact is that overweight people have FASTER metabolisms than smaller people from carrying around so much more weight for so many years."

Wow, I never though of it like that before.  So if it's not my metabolism holding me back, it must be...  hey, the road ahead of me is free and clear of obstacles!  Ta-Da..

So I want to offer you a different perspective today and it's this:

Our walls are the boundaries of our comfort zones.  They are the white picket fences around our familiar, known present.  We know that the thing we desire is "out THERE" but are not sure it's safe to leave the gate and cross that Interstate running through our front yard.  I mean, what if we get flattened by a speeding semi?

It IS scary.  They don't call it a "comfort zone" for nothing!  Now imagine stepping out there with a trusted supportive coach holding your hand, preferably one who has already crossed this road and emerged unscathed on the other side.

That's what I do.  I am the chaperon and tour guide on the bus pulling out of Struggle on it's way to Achievement.  The ride can go as slow or as fast as the client wishes, but she has to get ON the bus first!

So, that insurmountable-seeming wall blocking your way?  I am here to tell you that YOU are the only one who can even see it!  The road ahead of you is in fact, free and clear as far as the eye can see.

Now, how do you feel when you hear me say that?  Do you start in with all this mental chatter that goes "But, but, but...You don't know me!  You don't know my problems!  My problems and obstacles are worse than anyone else's.  Things are not as simple as you make it!"  Yeah?  Something like that?  OK, so you're right then.  Don't call me.  I can't help you when you are not willing to board the bus.

But if you read what I wrote and thought "I would like to believe that but am just afraid, skeptical, sad, beaten, all-alone, insecure, or hurt" then hon, you could use a great coach to stand behind you and say "Yes, you can and I've got your back".

Your wall is just your story, your picket fence, your safety helmet, your doubts and fears.  Knock it down and come out to play!

Gone Fishin'

Today I am writing to you from an entirely different continent that usual.  I am currently visiting my folks in the United States of Amereeka, in honor of my mom's 80th birthday.

And the blog looks different too.  Ch-ch-ch-changes!  Don't get attached to it though, because the entire blog/website situation is in major FLUX.  I do not know how this chapter of my life will end, but I am goin' with the flow, baby.

Anyway, so one of the nice things about traveling is eating different foods and things not available in the place where you live, right?  So far, I have enjoyed:

Oatmeal with Almond Butter and Berries

A big old jar of unsweetened Almond Butter for only $8, sigh.

Kombucha Tea (with coveted copy of Christopher McDougall's Born to Run)

Tenpeh "Bacon"

Big, Fat Doughy Bagels

There has been pancake making with Grandma:

The finished product

There was also a very unfortunate run-in with a bag of Candy Corn, which I did NOT photograph!  Not exactly my best "wellness lifstyle" moment, but like I'm always telling you guys, the object is not Perfection.  Sometimes I mess up too.  And did you know that Candy Corn is made from SEVEN different types of sweeteners and very little else?  Well aint that good to know.

Anyway, it's beautiful autumn here in the Great Midwest and there's a lot more happening than just what goes into my mouth.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum in front of the Alexander Calder

Bowling and Sailing pictures coming soon....

10,000 Hours

In the book Outliers, author Malcolm Gladwell explains that the most successful people in any field, get to the pinnacle due to many factors, one of which is that they have put in 10,000 hours of practice.

We often don't SEE the hours of practice the person has put in though because we don't meet them until they have already arrived at the top.  We see the celebrities on the red carpet but don't see them working for hours with in the gym and saying "no" over and over to sweets.  We see athletes compete at the top of their game and conveniently forget the years of training that got them there.  We look at the CEO of a company with envy and think she/he was just born lucky or ambitious and don't give a second thought to the many hours she/he spent in obscurity toiling away at ground level.

Likewise, if you want to be the kind of person who has a normal weight, enjoys physical fitness, and eats healthy food, you have got to practice it over and over again.  You don't just wish to be that person and hope it accidentally happens.  You have to actually do it. 

Every day that you start the day with exercise or go to the gym, you are practicing your new desired habits.  Every day that you come up with excuses about why you cannot do those things, you are practicing the old undesired habits. 

Every shopping trip you make for healthy food and every meal you take the time to cook with lots of veggies and healthy stuff, and every time you decide to NOT eat your feelings or binge, you are practicing your new desired habits.  Every time you eat junk food or stuff your feelings down with food or buy crap "for the kids" wink, wink, you are practicing the old undesired habits.

Every night when you get to bed at a decent hour you are practicing the new desired habit.  Every night when you stay up too late watching TV or surfing the net, you are practicing the old undesired habit.

You get the point.

One of my mentors on this journey had a slogan that went:  Every Step.  Every Rep.  Every Meal.  Every Mile.  Every Day.  I ADORE that and use it often as my mantra.

That's all it is, practice and repetition.  You can practice the old ways or you can practice the new ways, your choice.  And according to Malcolm Gladwell, when you have put in 10,000 hours of practice on a certain skill, you will be a Master. 

In this Nike commercial, Michael Jordan talks about how maybe he makes it look easy, but the fans don't see the hours of practice he has spent honing his skills:



… “Maybe I led you to believe it was easy when it wasn’t. Maybe I made you think my highlights started at the free throw line, and not in the gym. Maybe I made you think that every shot I took was a game winner. That my game was built on flash, and not fire. Maybe it’s my fault that that you didn’t see that failure gave me strength; That my pain gave me motivation. Maybe I led you to believe that basketball was a G-d given gift, and not something I worked for… every single day of my life…”– Michael Jordan

What are YOU working for?  Just know that there is no way to master it unless you practice it.

love,
em

Inspiration in the Strangest of Places

Last night I went with one of my sons to see The Last Airbender.  I expected to be bored and almost brought a book with me.  My kids have been watching that animated series for years now and I never really paid it much mind.  I had also heard some pretty negative reviews...

Well, air bend me backwards if that wasn't an amazing movie!  I kept wanting to take notes for Pete's sake!  I am NOT kidding!!  It was like an Eastern Philosophy seminar with M.Night Shyamalan as professor.  And it made me realize several Things.  Big Things.  So as usual, I seem to be learning Life's big lessons through kid's movies.  Let's just say, I take my Inspiration from whence it comes.

In the movie there are 4 worlds within our world, each dominated by one of the four elements:  Earth, Water, Fire and Air. The Avatar is the one being who can control all 4 elements and thus bring harmony and balance to the world.  The Avatar is always cycling through life and re-birth, but the current Avatar "upper limited" himself (that's psych talk, for he freaked out at his own greatness and I'm planning an entire post on that soon!) and ran away for 100 years, throwing the world into chaos.  In the movie, he returns, but because he ran away at age 12, he had only learned how to control the air element and needs to learn the other three elements to become the master he was born to be.

So in this one little innocuous movie, we have the whole issue of accepting one's life purpose which as you know from past posts, is something that has been engaging me for quite some time now.  Then we have the Upper Limiting Behaviors (ULB's) that cause us to self-sabotage.  Again, more on that coming up soon.  And then the whole 4 element thing...

As a Holistic practitioner, I am very familiar with Element Theory.  Chinese medicine adds a 5th element to the above quartet, Wood.  Ayurveda consolidates them into just 3, combining Earth and Water into the Kapha dosha, which just happens to be MY dosha.  I'll do another post all about Ayurveda one day because it really is useful and wonderful.  And in both systems, of course the bottom line is about balance, just like the Avatar.  The ways in which the Avatar is taught to control the water element and to overcome his ULB's, well this is where I found my insight.


Other people cross deserts to reach enlightenment, I just go to the movies.  Life is Sweet.


Anyway, back on Planet Earth...

Yesterday, I also made Vegan Granola Bars Ala Mama Pea.  I changed her recipe a bit because I didn't have powdered stevia. 

Totally YUM!

The recipe is here.  And that's not laziness, I'm just tired of blogger crashing whenever I cut and paste!

And lastly, just wanted to share some photos from our weekend up North.  We stayed in Moshav Betzet in the cutest little cabin!  We were surrounded by fruit trees.

Oranges

Papaya

Avocado

Fruit of my loins

Fruity McFruit

When I asked the proprietor why the commercial lime season is so short here in Israel, she gave me a whole basket to take home with me!

And she said that limes are just not that well-known here which is why they only appear in markets for one month out of 12.  And I buy them ALL.

And finally, for those of you who don't live here and think "Israeli Breakfast" means sand and pita, I give you....

The Israeli Breakfast:

I LOVE this country!!!

Exercise Schmexercise

Sweaty post-run game face!

Believe it or not, I have always been a fairly active person.  I started modern dance classes at the age of about 5 or 6 and have continued that my entire life.  I ran track in elementary and middle school.  I went to summer gymnastics camp and was on the gymnastics team through 9th grade when I switched to drill team in the marching band.  Maybe I was the chubbiest kid on the team or whatever, but I still participated and had a great time doing so.

You know, people have many different reactions to the events of September 11th.  One of my clients said that on 9/11 she figured that since we clearly have no control over our future, we may as well eat as much as we want.  That's one way of looking at it, but I had the opposite reaction.  I lived in NY on 9/11 and knew people who literally ran for their lives.  They climbed down 80 flights of stairs, they carried injured people in their arms, they ran an all-out sprint as Hell came down on their heads.  As I sat there listening to the survivors tell their stories, I felt my heart turn to ice.  I was a 220lb diabetic.  I would not have been able to run away.  No one would have been able to carry me either.

When I decided it was time to lose weight several months after that event, I could barely walk to the mailbox and back.  I began by walking in place during tv commercials.  That was exhausting and embarrassing.  But I stuck with it.  After awhile I began to walk outside, then slowly added jogging, and 18 months later, here's me still smiling after 2 hours and 13.1 miles!

When I crossed the finish line, I happened to be all alone because I was miles behind most everyone else and my son shouted in wonder "Mommy, you WON!"

During my run this morning, I began formulating this post and decided to tell you WHY exercise rocks and why you should be doing it if you're not already.  And yes, this list is in order of importance:


1.  Endorphins
I'm an endorphin junkie.  I admit it.  Some of us are born like this.  And if I hadn't gotten a D in Neuropsychology I would be able to tell you why.  (And a mercy D at that due to the fortunate nepotistic fact that the professor had been a doctoral student of my Dad's and he just couldn't believe I was quite that stupid.)


I work out, I get high.  Simple as that.  True, I could eat a box of cookies and achieve the same effect, but exercise makes my butt look good and cookies don't.  My sneakers are the hypodermic needles and the road is my juice.


If you're the type who has other addictions, ie to food, you are likely to be the type who will get an endorphin high from exercise.  Want to know how I bring it on?  I work really hard and get out of breath and then I slow my breathing way down.  Two or three deep breaths and I'm singing The Carpenters at the top of my lungs and blubbering over the beauty of the world. 


2.  There are good looking guys at the gym
Yes, I am this shallow.  I'm also happily married, but hey, I'm not dead.  Super fit women are inspiring too, but unfortunately, they're a rarity.  So see, it's not a perverted sex thing.  I just am heavily inspired by the well-taken care of human body at it's peak of fitness and beauty.  You are too, no use denying it.


3.  I get to eat more
Simple math here.  Expend alot of calories and you can eat them back and still be in caloric deficit.  I could never fit cake into my life without gaining if I wasn't regularly working out.  I like cake.


4.  Me Time
Sixty glorious minutes without mommy this and honey that.  MY favorite music blasting in my ears and no one complaining that South Pacific is totally lame.  One hour to get lost in my daydreams of being 17  years old and having to choose between a beautiful vampire and a hot werewolf.  Maybe I am confessing a little too much?


5.  Problem Solving
Every idea I have EVER had in my life, has come to me during a run.  I can sit in front of this computer for HOURS of mind-numbing writer's block or stuck on some stubborn problem but 10 minutes into a run I am having breakthrough after breakthrough.  Getting married, going back to school, moving to Israel, having babies...  blame it all on the Nikes.


6.  The Regular Stuff
Strong heart, low blood pressure and cholesterol, good blood sugar, lubricated joints, flexible muscles, depression banished, body trim and toned, skin firm and smooth, confidence built, pride activated, and if I need to outrun anything, the knowledge that I CAN.

7.  It's fun
If it's not fun, you're doing the wrong kind of exercise.  You will be working out for the rest of your life so it'd better be a good time...

See, I told you there are cute guys at the gym!

OMG, if he sees this I'm dead.

You should see him in his spinning shorts!

Run, Walk, Swim, Bike, Spin, Dance, Tennis, Golf, Basketball, Soccer, Ski, Skate, Lift Weights, Stretch, Yoga, Jump-rope, Kettle Bells, Body Weight Exercise, Pilates...  SO many choices. Don't let me catch you saying "But I don't LIKE exercise!" There's got to be something you at least don't hate.


A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. ~Joan Welsh

The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down." ~Rita Rudner

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise. ~Author Unknown

My always ready, not fat, running partner.

Oh, Eminem!

OK, I have to redeem my hipness after leaving you with 20-year old disco in that last post.  I like all kinds of music really, and actually depend on music quite a bit for inspiration.  In fact, one of the tips I give to clients is to listen to an inspirational, pumped up, positive, motivating song each day.  And downloading new music onto Gumby, my ipod, is quite often my best reward for getting things done.  (Some of you know why my ipod is named Gumby and that involves an amazing motivational story too, but sadly one I did not get the author's permission to re-print.  I'd be happy to send it via email, just ask).


Anyway...


Today my new music download included a new song by Eminem.  The song is called "Not Afraid" and it ties in so beautifully to that last post on fear that when I heard it during my run this morning, I started to cry.  Or maybe I started to cry because it was so hot my sneakers had melted to the asphalt?  I'm not sure which, but I am sure that I LOVE THIS SONG!  If I was a rapper I would have written these exact same words.

WARNING:  This song has more unbelievable profanity in it than I have ever heard in a song.  If you don't like swear words, do NOT play the song!!! 

The link is here to a record review, scroll down for the video because it's not up on youtube yet and I think I'm not allowed to post it.


My absolutely favorite lyrics are when he says he has to excise his demons and the MFers are doing jumping jacks.  My demons do jumping jacks too!  Eminem and me, same-same.


"Not Afraid" will be the my ANTHEM for Summer 2010.  Last Summer's Anthem (which sort of lasted the entire year) was "Spotlight" by Mute Math because it was just so Edward and Bella and because of these lyrics:


"You know the one thing you're fighting to hold, is the one thing you've got to let go."


A-MEN!!!



And one more folks, Snow Patrol's "Just Say Yes"



This is the song I play before I give a speech, before meeting a new client for the very first time, and generally before doing something I feel fear / hope about.


"Just Say Yes
Just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test
Nor a trick of the mind, only Love"



What are your favorite songs and lyrics?  What part does music play in your life?

Flat Out Fear

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."  -Franklin Delano Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933


So to quickly recap the last 2 posts, (here and here):


1.  Step One
Understand on a deep and complete level that how you look and feel at this very moment is TOTALLY the result of your day-to-day thoughts, actions and habits.  You are not over-weight because of your slow metabolism, or your thyroid, or your sugar addiction or your eating disorder, but rather because of how you behave in the FACE of those problems.  Each of those very real problems, has a solution.  There is help readily available to get you past those and any other weight-related issue.  If you are still allowing those or any other issue to stop you, then you are not fully taking responsibility and do not completely see the connection between what you do and what you get as a result.


If you are saying "but, but, but..." stay here and keep working.  There is nothing wrong with you and you are not "bad"!  You are just here at this stage, that's all.  If you try to jump into action from this stage you will probably end up doing the Yo-Yo Dance.  Keep working here until you make the connection (ie, blammo).


(If you get it but need help finding the solutions, that's what I'm here for.  Email me and make an appointment:  Emily@TriumphWellness.com)


2.  Step Two
Motivation.  Why do you want to change and why do you not want to change?  What is your big"Why"?  Is your "Why" exciting enough to carry you past the obstacles or will you crumble the moment you hit resistance?


If you are one of the many who say "I know what I need to do and I know why I want to do it, but I just don't do it" then you need to spend some time working in step two.  Changing long-held habits and beliefs takes strong, unwavering effort.  If you don't want it badly enough, hang out here working on this until you do.  When I have clients stuck at this place I try to get them emotionally aroused about the situation. I take them through a meditation that zooms them out through the years so they can feel what it will be like 5, 10, 20 years down the road of no change. It's a little ow-ey but it usually works.


Sometimes you just need a hand at this stage with implementation, consistency and accountability.  Maybe you are stuck on meal planning, organization, finding the time to get it all done, finding healthy food you actually like to eat, or exercise you actually like to do.  Or maybe your sugar/food addiction is really kicking your butt and you could use some extra-strength Fighter Power.  Again, that's what I do.  Email me or hire a coach or get a buddy, whatever.


So, how about this scenario:  You totally understand the connection between behavior and result, you have a totally scintillating "why" and are all jazzed up and ready to change your life....  and then... you don't.  What the heck could be wrong now?!  Please meet...


3.  Step Three
Face the FEAR.  Friends, it is called a "Comfort Zone" for a reason.  Stepping out of it is downright frickin fracken uncomfortable.  Go re-read that FDR quote up there:  fear is "...terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."


Are ya just plain scared out of your wits?  Heck yes!  I know I am most of the time.


This is starting to sound like an ad for 1-800-CALL-ME, but seriously, having someone to stand in that fear with you, to keep whispering in your ear "I know you can do it", well, it can make all the difference.  I mean, how many of us would have gotten through child-birth, the single most scary thing in the world, without a helpful nurse, midwife, spouse, partner, mother, friend?  No one expects us to go it alone where birthing babies is concerned, but we isolate ourselves when birthing our dreams.  Why is that?


There are generally two kinds of fear at this stage:  Fear of Failure and believe it or not, Fear of Success.


The first one is pretty obvious.  If you are like most people, you have already failed at this a bunch of times and the thought of failing again doesn't exactly inspire action.  Ask yourself "what's the worst thing that can I happen" and you will hear answers like "I will end up even fatter." or "I cannot bear the heart-break of losing this weight only to gain it back again."


Yup, it sure is safer to stay put.  Nothing ventured, nothing lost.  This is the point where I myself was trying the chunky necklaces and colorful neck scarves, remember?


Do you hear that little voice whispering "not me, not me, not me"?  Listen closely and see if you can hear it?  There's always my pal Tony Robbins to help with this one...


The fear of success is more subtle.  I mean, what if you DO succeed at weight loss?  What if you get to your goal weight?  Can you handle it?  People are going to look at you differently, people you don't even know are going to treat you differently (yes, they will!).  If your weight has been your main problem for 30 years and then the problem is solved, are you going to be able to cope with that vacuum?  If you have always seen yourself as fat and un-sexy, how are you going to feel when guys check you out, approach you, whistle at you? 


A lot of women I meet have gained their weight following a sexual assault or experience, or a frightening illness, or a traumatic event.  The fat has been their security blanket.  They are about as willing to drop the blanket as a 2-year old is to drop that tattered scrap he clings to.  One of my mentors used to say that taking off the fat suit is like standing in front of a giant fan with no skin on.  Not for the faint of heart.


Well, the funny thing about Fear is that it's only scary until we face it.  Face Fear down and it'll turn tail and run home crying to it's mama.  The only way out of this one is THROUGH.  Maybe it's time to pull on your big girls pants, take a deep breath and give your fears the what-for.


Now, close the door, turn the speakers up, click the link and send that Fear packing!  (The sight of me dancing to Gloria Gaynor is about as scary as it gets).

So what was my Blammo anyway?

I received a lot of questions about yesterday's blog post:


1.  When did Blammo happen?
2.  How did it happen?
3.  What was it exactly that you did then that you hadn't been doing before?


I can tell you exactly when, where, and what my Blammo were because that day is etched quite clearly in my brain.  Sit down little children and granny will tell you a story:

220lbs.  Leftover Gestational Diabetes that has taken on a life of it's own long after the baby has left the body.  Lots of binging on sugar.  Lots of Emotional Eating.  Although I knew I was really fat, I couldn't really understand what everyone else was making such a fuss over?  Did I really look THAT different?


But what could I do?  Every time I tried to diet I would end up binging even more and getting even fatter so I knew that was no solution.  Exercise wasn't really an option because everything hurt.  I had plantar fascitis in my feet, my knees and hips were always sore, I had the cardio capacity of a marshmallow.


The dialogue in my head went something like this:
"I am too tired to fight this anymore.  Nothing works.  Seeing as I have been some degree of over-weight almost my entire life, maybe this is just how my body is?  Maybe I am fighting a useless battle?  I will always be big, so maybe it is time to accept that and make the best of it."


I did not know it then, but I had just hit rock bottom.  Rock bottom doesn't always feel bad.  Actually I felt pretty good at that moment of surrender.  Like when suicidal people finally set a date for their suicide and their loved ones later report how happy they seemed in the days that led up to their deaths.


It turns out that Surrender is the KEY here actually to what was about to happen.  When you Surrender, your defenses go down.  When your walls are down you can hear things that maybe you were unable to hear before.

I went off to the Library.  As far as I am concerned, The Library contains all the answers anyone could ever seek.  That day, I was looking for books on Fat Acceptance.  If I was going to be fat, heck yeah, I would do it in style.  I sat there pouring over pictures of smiling overweight models in chunky necklaces and brightly colored scarves and wondering if there was anyone in the world who really believed that "drawing the eye upwards" could disguise the fact that 200lbs lurked below the neck.


A growing sense of discomfort was stirring in my soul.  This little tiny voice was whispering "not-me-not-me-not-me...."


I scooped the books up intending to check them out for a closer look at home.  On the way to the circulation desk, something drew me aside to the Self-Help section.  Tony Robbins was leering out from the cover of his latest book.  I chuckled and thought "do people really read that stuff?"  My hand is reaching for it, I am opening it, I flip randomly to a page and feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck.  Find an empty carrel, drop the fat books in a heap, take out a sheet of paper and a pen and start working through an exercise called "who do I want to be" or some such.


For about an hour I wrote who I want to be.  I wrote about how I wanted to look, what sort of things I wanted to do with my life, and what I thought was my place in the world.  Then Tony asked "What is stopping you?"  Well, I'm fat, I binge, I can't control my sugar intake, I am obsessed with eating and dieting.

Tony:  Is it a good trade?  Are the choices you are making BETTER than the reality you are trading them for? 


Blammo, to me, felt like Tony Robbins whacking me upside the head with a plank of wood.


Tony snuck his cheesy, inspirational self into my brain precisely at that moment when my defenses were down.  I could see clearly for the first time ever that the CHOICES and HABITS I engaged in on a daily basis were bringing me the opposite result of ALL the things in the world I ever wanted.  Changing the behavior would change the outcome.  I had heard this a million times before but this was the first time I really got it:  Was I going to lay down and accept defeat and live the next 60 years being this stranger hiding behind chunky necklaces, or was I going to fight for the person who lives inside of me who is full of beauty and life and has awesome, fun, exciting things to do in this world?  Not that fat people can't be beautiful or have great lives, I just knew that I, as a fat person, wouldn't.

Here's what happened next:  The HOW didn't matter anymore because I had a WHY.  Karen Knowler calls this "Your Big Why" and says that no goal can be reached without one.  In all my past attempts I had focused all my energy on the "How": lists of good vs bad foods, how many calories would I need to take in and how many would I need to burn, should I mix carbs with protein, eat low-carb, eat low-fat, dairy-free or dairy-rich, raw, vegan, atkins, south beach....  that's all "How" stuff, it doesn't really matter and it can take you off course.

"Why" trumps "How".  "Why" clears the deck, shows you the path, put blinders on the sides of your vision to eliminate distractions, and kicks boulders out of the way.  "Why" is different for every person and will be different at different times of one's life.  Again, to paraphrase Karen Knowler, your "Why" has to be big enough and juicy enough to give you goosebumps and make you want to RUN to it in an all-out sprint.

One more example:  If you are operating on "How", when someone passes a plate of your favorite food you think "Arg! I wish I could have that!  I am so deprived all the time, it's not fair, I deserve to have some fun too! waaaah!" All the pleasure is in that FOOD and all the pain is in saying No.  That. Is. Hard.

When your super exciting "WHY" is in charge and that plate of favorites comes around, you say "No the F-k Way!"  (sorry, but my "Why" swears like a sailor)  "What I am working for is so much more delicious and wonderful than that food could ever taste that I am not even tempted.  Be gone with you Dream Stealing Cupcake!" and you are so happy that you want to dance around like a Pussycat Doll singing "hahaha...hahaha"

So to wrap it up, I think our consciousness has all these layers.  We just have to keep peeling the layers until we get to the one that makes the difference.  And then, we have to keep peeling after that too because things are always changing.  That's pretty much the process I take clients through.  Sure we talk about brown rice and spinach, but I know that for most people that's the "How" stuff.  It sure can help, but I more important is helping them eek out their delectable "Why."


You know, as I went through the process of writing the last two posts, I think I peeled away the layer with the stomachache.  Maybe that'll be my next post...

The Spirit of Fortitude

Yesterday I finished reading The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.  It got me thinking.  The story, basically, is about an extremely dysfunctional family:  parents who are unfit to parent, and their kids who could have followed in their depressing legacy of alcoholism, poverty, and hopelessness, but instead rose up and built adult lives of achievement and financial security.


I adore stories of people over-coming the odds.  I always root for the underdog.  I am utterly captivated and fascinated by the process whereby one decides to push past the barriers and accomplish the seemingly impossible.  I am totally obsessed with it, if you want to know the truth.


Lucky for me, it's also my job.


Day after day, I meet women who have been trying all of their lives to reduce their size and become the slim woman they dream of.  Not just slim of course, but also at peace with food, no longer hungry, no longer obsessed, no longer a slave to counting each calorie eaten and burned.  These women have been working on this ONE unaccomplished goal for 15, 20, 40 or even 50 years.  They have met with so much other achievement in life - phenomenal careers, the raising of amazing children, over-coming heartbreak, disease, financial crumble - and yet this one goal of SLIM has never been reached.  Or, even sadder, it has been reached briefly and then lost again.  Those woman forever cling to the memories of that brief shining moment when they were who they always wanted to be.


By the time they come to me, most women have usually tried a million diets and workout plans, some sensible, some crazy, each one going to be THE THING that will finally bring them what they want.


And it's not like they didn't try!  Holy cow, these are the strongest, bravest, most tenacious and stubborn women you will ever meet!  They work their asses off in pursuit of this one single all-consuming goal.  But it evades them time after time.


I often hear them say "I am so frustrated by this, I could just scream!" or "I just do not have the strength to give this one more try."


I get it.  I know this pain too.  I have been there too.  I screamed and cried and pounded my fists and pleaded with The Creator to please let me have this one thing I wanted so badly from the time I was 16 years old and chubbier than the rest of the girls.


And one day, seemingly out of the blue, I turned it around for myself.  One day "blammo" it all became clear and all I had to do was walk the walk.  Everything else fell away and step by step I walked all the way to my goal and stayed there.


But why?  What made me have "blammo" and why don't some other people have it?  Why do some of my clients sit across from me and I watch quite literally as their entire expression changes and they take this big deep breath and say "I get it.  I'm going to be OK now" and suddenly all the power they were using on the "battle" gets channeled into the success?  Yet others sadly go on struggling and fighting and doing the one-step-forward-one-step-back dance?


I wish I knew.  If I knew the answer to this question, I would bestow it on the world for all to share.  I study the question constantly.  I read book after book on the psychology of achievement and motivation, I pick the brains of my clients who have gotten it.  I ask "What was it that finally got through to you?" and they all say "I don't know." which is what I say too. 


For a long time, I was obsessed with survival literature.  You know, stories of the folks who get lost in the wilderness or in a disaster and some live and some die.  In the fascinating book Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies and Why by Laurence Gonzales, the author puts forth that there is some internal survival mechanism that only about 10% of the population seem to possess.  They do not see Death as an Option.


They do not see Death as an Option.


I did not see Fat as an Option.


I looked in the mirror and said "NO!  This isn't me.  This is not my life and I don't care how hard I have to work and how long it might take, I will never, ever, EVER give up, give in, or accept a different conclusion than the one I seek."


Blammo.


When the chips are down.  When it feels as though the entire world is against you.  When you have failed a billion trillion times.  When you think you have no strength left.  When you feel so humiliated you can't even look yourself in the eye.  When you are lost at sea in a tiny life boat.  Will you be the one to accept the fate that seems inevitable?  Or will you be the one to scrape your own guts off the pavement, stand up and say "NO, I am not finished yet."

What Does Valentine's Day Have to Do with Weight Loss?

by Dinneen
a Holistic Health Counselor and owner of http://www.eatwithoutguilt.com/. 

 "For Valentine’s Day, instead of looking for love from others, this year do something different – decide to love yourself and give something wonderful to YOU. Don’t wait for someone else. Love you and all that you are, AS IS.   Don’t wait until you are 100, 50, 25 or even 5 pounds lighter. Realize that who you are inside is what counts, not the number on the scale. That number is not a reflection of who you are, but rather of how you treat yourself.


It’s great to want to eat better, get exercise, and lose some weight to be healthier and FEEL better so you can live a full life. But you can’t do that until you love yourself. You see, when you love yourself you treat yourself better. And when you treat yourself better, you’re much more inclined -and motivated - to do those things that make you happier, healthier, and yes thinner.


So take a step back and realize just how wonderful you are. Sit, take a moment and even write down things that you love about yourself. Glow in it, and see that you ARE a special person, a person that deserves love from you. Don’t wait until you get to “some point” in life or on the scale. Don’t wait to live and love yourself fully.  By loving yourself first, and then treating yourself better – only then can you start the journey to lose weight.


You see, I was in your shoes. For years I kept waiting until the day I would be thinner, have a flatter stomach, ate more “good” foods, look thinner in my clothes, and be the right size. I kept waiting for those outside things to make me feel better.  But then one day I realized, “Hey, I AM a great person! I have lots to give to the world, and why am I waiting to start fully living and enjoying life?” A light-bulb literally went off in my head.


So I started to love myself more and treat myself better. And you know what happened? I started to eat better, get more exercise, and look at food as my friend instead of the enemy. I realized that eating better foods and taking better care of myself was an expression of loving myself.


Then, and only then, was I on the road to a happier and more fulfilling life. And you know what? I started to lose weight. And have more energy, and have more vitality for LIFE.  I was eating better and being nicer to my body. I read information on what were really healthy foods, how to integrate them more into my life, and how to cook them to be tastier and more satisfying.


As a result, I started to enjoy food and look forward to meals instead of dreading them like before (for fear of eating the wrong foods, eating too much, or eating for the wrong reasons). I learned that mealtimes were a chance for me to say “I love you and I want to take care of you the best that I can.”  Then I learned how to have some chocolate and not let it overtake me. I ate a little and was completely satisfied. I didn’t need more to feel good, I actually needed – and ate – LESS!


This started my journey to a life where I can now eat what I want when I want, and know how to make the best choices in food that feed ME, and not my soul.  So this Valentine’s Day decide to love YOU for who you are right now. Don’t wait until you’re thinner, sexier, or fit better into your jeans. Love yourself now, I mean really love yourself. Your soul, your mind, and your jeans will start to love you back!"

Bravo Dinneen! I couldn't have said it better myself. Just the part about learning to eat chocolate in moderation, well, that might not be true for all of us. Personally, I don't negotiate with sugar and find my life is much sweeter in return. But the rest, about loving yourself NOW, as you are, I completely agree. You can't make lifestyle change from a place of self-hatred or self-loathing. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
love,

emily

Day 71 Too Much Wiggle Room

Uh-oh.
Here I am 3/4's of the way through this 100-Day Vegan Challenge and I find myself slipping and sliding all over the place. 

I think it started with that Japanese dinner the other night.  We ate at the same restaurant my husband and I ate at on New Year's Eve.  I requested that my friend meet me there because I knew they had that one vegan dish: Stir-fried Noodles with Tofu and Vegetables.  When I went there with my husband, the hostess must have heard me speaking and automatically handed me the English menu.  There was no description of the dish except that title.  When I went with my girlfriend the other night I got the Hebrew menu and there, clear as the nose on my face, it said "egg noodles" and had a symbol indicating the sauce contained fish sauce.  "Oh well"  I thought.  "I've already eaten it unknowingly once and I didn't turn into a pumpkin or anything.  What's one more time?"

Well, that would have been fine.  But as often happens on the Slippery Slope, that two-time oops translated into a taste of this and a bite of that and I find myself not quite as vegan as I'd like to be.

It would have been easier and a lot less personally embarassing, to keep this bit of info to myself.  But because I'm using this blog as a chance to allow people to get to know me and to understand my health counseling work, I felt this was an important thing to walk through in public.

You see, I work with people making behavior changes around their diets and their personal habits.  Often this pattern will occur where the excitement of the new beginning carries a client through for a month or two.  Then they have a test or a slip and they can find themselves beginning to slip more and more often.  This is the point where I am in danger of losing them and they are in danger of losing everything they have worked for to that point.  For those that don't run away from their programs, I walk them through the following strategy:

1.  Re-visit your goals.  Why are you doing this in the first place?  Do those goals still speak to you or do they need to be updated?

2.  Go back and review your early results.  This is why I am adamant that my clients keep journals and/or food logs.  Otherwise it is too easy to forget what you were doing when things were good and how much better you were feeling.

3.  Take a look at the path you have currently stepped onto and take it out a few more miles in your mind.  Will your current path take you to where you want to go, or do you need to make a course correction?

4.  Were you trying to be too perfect before?  Sometimes when we aim for 100% pure perfection, one little mistake sends us to "Nevermind-what's-the-point-anyway Land".  The goal should be just to do the best you can.  Are you doing the best you can?

5.  My approach is to focus on what you CAN DO, not what you can't.  What can you do today to get yourself back on track?

That's it really.  It's not difficult, but it IS really important to do before the little course deviations become giant, difficult direction changes.

So, back to ME:

I looked back to the earlier days of this blog and I see a lot more interesting variation and food experimentation.  Perhaps I was getting into boring food ruts lately and that led to stepping off my path.  So, my plan for tonight is to curl up with some vegan cookbooks and plan out some dishes I'd really love to try. 

Tomorrow I'm listening to some of the free Compassionate Cooks podcasts on itunes.  Colleen Patrick-Goudreau could probably convince a tiger to go veg.  Her website is:  http://www.compassionatecooks.com/  and her excellent, inspirational podcasts which can be found for free on itunes, are called "Vegetarian Food For Thought".

Inspiration to Be A Better Person

When I stumbled accross this video and story the other day, I could not stop watching it and weeping. I think I am a pretty courageous person, who has slayed some pretty big dragons to get to where I am today. Yet, compared to Dick and Ricky Hoyt, well...

I am thankful for you tube and for the internet and for people like these who make me want to do better, be better and appreciate the ride, bumps and all!

Enjoy!