So, I'm such an emotional sap that I still get choked up at every school gathering, and sporting or civic event ESPECIALLY if the Israeli National Anthem is sung. Tonight I blubbered my way through HaTikvah and then everyone began singing Israeli songs having to do with the Holiday. Songs, I have never heard before in my life. OK, no problem, I sat and listened enviously to this entire auditorium of people who all grew up here and share this common cultural heritage. I consoled myself with the fact that while they may have been raised on some fine, catchy tunes, these native Israelis did NOT have Gilligan's Island.
After the songfest, we retreated with our kids to the classrooms for an activity. First, we had to do a freakin' word search. In Hebrew. Shit. And then, even worse, three pages of Idioms and Expressions that the parents were suppossed to explain to their kids. In Hebrew. Figures of Speech. Aint nothing harder, folks. So I sat there with my 3rd grader, beads of sweat breaking out on my forehead, as I tried to puzzle out the answers. At one point I caught the eye of another parent, a recent immigrant from Ethiopia, who looked just as lost as me. I seriously doubt they say "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" in Ethiopia. They don't even have apples in Ethiopia. That Dad had even less hope of completing the activity than I did.
It's not any fun being dumber than a 3rd grader.
Oh, but what is this? Did the teacher just say that now we will be doing a Cooking Activity? THAT I can do!!
Here's little Jamie Oliver Jr cutting some fruit:
Dude has the Knife Skills of a Pro. Wonder who taught him??
When the mother sitting next to us remarked at how exceptionally beautiful our fruit salad was, my little hero puffed up his chest with pride, smiled at me brightly and declared in his perfect unaccented Hebrew, "That's because my mom teaches people how to make healthy food."